Leave the Motor Running

...because I am on the run!

Wow. It's hard to believe we've come this far and got to this point. I'll admit, I miss you. Whatever.

Three weeks of summer left. Part of me is really excited for school to start. I can't wait to get Senior year over with and go to college. This year is going to be fun. However, I still have to pay off my car repairs. I owe 2000 dollars in 4 months. Ouch! At least my parents are helping me.

It's raining and storming. It's keeping me awake.

So here's a story.
Today, I went to church, and it was really fun. Afterwards, some of us played ERS outside. At 4 I went to work and we were really slow so I watched TV in the bar and NBC's Most Outrageous Moments was on. That saved me from being bored. I couldn't stop laughing. I left at 8 and it was still light out so my friend Tessa and I decided to go running. She rode the bike while I ran. Then I rode the bike for a little bit but it started lightning and I didn't want to get electrocuted. We ran by a house where the people were throwing out their mini trampoline. So, Tessa and I decided to go get it after we were done running. That was fun.

Uhmm I should probably go to bed soon. I have to get up to go running at 7 tomorrow morning.

There's a lot on my mind right now and I really feel like blogging about it, but maybe I won't. Maybe I will. I don't know. Maybe tomorrow.

You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again.

"At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines... or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to take a chance... the view from the other side... is spectacular."

An update? Sure, why not.

SCHOOOOOOOOOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! -Alice Cooper

School's finally out. I'm trying to get a new job where I can get a lot more hours. I have nothing to do this summer besides working and chilling, so I want to work as much as I can. I need to save money for Senior year.

I'm reading a lot more. I like it. I've also been listening to a lot of different music now, especially blues/jazz (Aretha Franklin, Ella Fitzgerald, Cab Calloway, Cleo Laine, etc.). The Polyphonic Spree has also been an obsession.

Cross Country mileage started last week, so I've been trying to stay healthy and running as much as I can. I could probably use some motivation. Couldn't we all? ha

My sister's home this summer. That makes me happy. :D

I can't believe that it's been this long and some people still aren't over it. I don't understand what the big deal is. That's all I'm going to get into that. It just seems all silly to me.

Oh, I got a new elephant stuffed animal! It's really soft.

My birthday's in less than a month. How exciting.

I don't have much else to say. Goodbye.

I'll admit, I __ you. Fill in the blank to what ever satisfies you.

Taken by the Sky, Dreams Unwind

"Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down"

R.I.P. Curt Pratt


Sometimes, I don't understand why the world in which we live is so cruel. It doesn't make sense why bad things happen to people who are trying to fix things back to the way they were before. It doesn't make sense that a man, after realizing his mistakes, and trying to return to his family to support them would never make it back home. I don't understand life sometimes. Life is pretty rough, but we still gotta keep moving forward, right?

Hot Fever

HOLD ON TO THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT WHILE WE BRING ON THE HEAT OF THIS NEW BEAT CAN YOU MAKE YOUR BODY MOVE TO THE SONG THAT MAKES YOU GROOVE FOR ME

Time is eternal. It bothers me when people say that something (the universe) came from nothing, and then atheists turn it around and ask where God came from. There has to be a stop somewhere. Evolutionists just happen to end at nothing, and those who believe in God end at God. This just proves that time is eternal. It's impossible that such a complex, perfect world was created by nothing. A plate of cookies never just appear out of nowhere, and if you can't and wouldn't believe that, then how can you believe a HUGE universe just appeared? The proof that there is a creator is the creation. A painting comes from a painter, a watch comes from a watchmaker, a creation comes from a creator.
Think about it.

Fool!

seems my own arrogance has knocked me off my feet again
when you know I'm crawling to you as fast as I can
first teach me to walk and then I'll learn to dance for you like an
honest clumsy clown
tripping along the way

what are you thinking as you look down on me are you
frustrated with my inconsistency
or intrigued that I can find the will to get back up or
maybe all of this is simply amusing

Today

Today, I had a huge realization.
I'll write more later if I have time.

Oh, love.

I'm sick of people who let others define them. Yes, I have been guilty of this in the past. Does it make me a hypocrite? No.

It has made me a stronger independent person, because I have learned from that mistake. But, now I see it everywhere. In so many relationships, people become so attached and dependent on one other person and it makes me sick. Even in marriage, you have to be independently established. I'm tired of the mushy phrases; "I would die for them," "I would do anything for them," or my favorite, "I can't live without them." Sure, they all sound nice and it would flatter you, but there is more to a relationship than that.

In a relationship, there has to be commitment, trust, and friendship, along with love. You can't be "in love" with someone with one of those things missing. Your "significant other" is there to enhance your life, and to help you grow into a better you; not to define you. You have to be able to live on your own inside and outside of a relationship. This is why I have so many problems with dating in high school. Let's be honest. Girls mature before most guys. No matter what, it is hard to trust a guy one hundred percent. Girls look for different things in a relationship than most boys. I'm not saying it's impossible to find "true love" in high school, but it's improbable.

I believe in waiting for true love. Sure, dating is fun, and helps you decide what you want in a relationship, but that's all that it should be, at least for now. Most of the time at this age, serious relationships lead to disappointments. Rarely, a relationship will last past high school and through college. I'm not saying to not date and enjoy it while you can, but to just be careful with it. Don't set yourself up for a disappointment. Don't do anything you know you will regret if that relationship doesn't work out in the end, because chances are, that it most likely won't. I'm not being pessimistic; I'm being truthful.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. It's just been on my mind lately. Take it or leave it.

How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?

New obsession: Vampire Weekend

So Nice So Smart

I was quiet as a mouse
When I snuck into your house
And took roofies with your spouse
In a nit and out a louse
And lice are lousy all the time
They suck your blood drink your wine
Say shut up and quit your crying
Give it time and you'll be fine

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend I have to break your heart
Tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

I like boys with strong convictions
And convicts with perfect diction
Underdogs with good intentions
Amputees with stamp collections
Plywood skinboards ride the ocean
Salty noses suntan lotion
Always seriously joking
And rambunctiously soft-spoken
I like boys that like their mothers
And I have a thing for brothers
But they always wait til we're under the covers
To say I'm sure glad we're not lovers

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend I have to break your heart
Tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

-Kimya Dawson

Quotes

"It's the kid inside of us that keeps us all from going crazy."

"But sometimes, the thing you didn't expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is just stop trying to figure out where you're going, and enjoy where you're at."

"First of all, no-one understands relationships like Billy Joel, okay?"

"You know, when you stop being frightened, time really is on your side. And you can just go on being you. "

"It's funny, I guess sometimes when you do nothing at all, things just have a way of fixing themselves."

"But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too."

----Scrubs, Scrubs, and more Scrubs.

All he wanted was to be a big fish.

There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they're faster or stronger than other fish. They're just touched by something extra.
-Big Fish

Got out of school early today, watched Big Fish, fell in love with the story, and now I want to read the book.

I'm beginning to love reading and writing more and more each day. It takes me to a state of relaxation. I'm at that point where if I don't read or write something each day, I feel as if I haven't accomplished anything. I think that's what I want to do the rest of my life. I'm just not sure if I want to educate, but that seems to be the only big thing out there, besides journalism, but I'd musch rather teach than report. I guess I don't have to do something big, but I would like to. I just want to be allowed to be creative. I like photography. That's creative, depending on the oponion of the viewers. Any ideas or advice would be nice I suppose.

I picked up poetry books from the library by E.E. Cummings, Jim Harrison, and Paul Zweig. I came to the conclusion: I love poetry. It's so beautiful when you learn to appreciate it. I never thought I'd be a big poetry fan, or literature fan for that matter. Then, I learned to appreciate. Then I fell in love.
I guess that applies to other things, too.
Learn to appreciate. Learn to love.

Peace and Love,
Carrie

I wonder if anyone actually reads this, not that I care, just wonder.

As I look through my older posts, I'm beginning to realize how lame of a person I was, am. I know I can be better. I know I shouldn't settle for less, but why do I always find myself doing so? Stupid teenagers. Grow up.

I really hope we have a snow day tomorrow. I want to go sledding/phtotoshooting.

UPDATION:
There is no school tomorrow! This excites me. I already have my day planned out.
1) Get up early and take pictures with the sunrise (yes I'm a photo nerd)
2) Have a huge-high-carb breakfast that will hold me over for...
3) Go sledding with a few friends, and hopefully build a snowman!
4) Drink hot tea and watch movies/hang out
5) Maybe take more pictures
6) And finish the day with a good book.

Finito.