Truth

“Why did you lie to me? I always thought I told the truth. Why did you lie to me? Because the truth lies like nothing else and I love the truth."
-Mark Strand, "Elegy For My Father"

It's a marshmellow world!

I think that when it snows, it is a great time to relax. I recently had a conversation about the snow with a girl who moved here from California, who has never experienced the excitement of snow. She acted like a little child on the first day of snow of the year, anxious to go build a snowman, for no particular reason, besides to have fun of course. It saddens me when so many people view snow as an interference. Yes, I am sometimes guilty of this, but having this conversation brought me back to when I was young, when nothing else mattered except for having fun. Whenever it snowed, me and my brother and sister would go crazy and throw a party, just becuase it was snowing. And whenever there would be snow days, we would throw on every piece of clothing we had as fast as we could to stay warm, reunite with our snow boots that haven't been touched for a year, and search for all our other snow gear. Then, we would have to sit there anxiously and wait until it was light enough to go outside and play. Finally, around 7:00, the sun would light up the marshmellow world, and of course, my brother would then have to go to the bathroom. We waited impatiently as he would undress and redress and finally, it would be time to go outside. We would never know what to do first. There were so many different opportunities; build a snowman, have a snowball fight, go sledding, or make "snow popsicles." We rushed to get as much as we could before we started to freeze. Then, to end the day, we would go inside with hot chocolate welcoming us back home.
However, now that I have a car that I pay for, a job, extra curricular activites, and more homework then ever, I find it hard to find time to relax. But as I look out from my window and I see little snow flurries, I can't help but reminisce about the the fun times I used to have in the snow. I guess you could say that I am anxiously waiting for that special snow day to come again, where all I need to worry about is how I am going to build my snowman, or who and where I am going to go sledding with. I love the snow. And that's all I have to say about that.

I don't miss him sadly, the way you miss someone you love who's dead. I don't miss him sweetly, the way you miss someone you love when you're apart but you know you'll be together again. I feel about him the way you feel about something important like a set of keys that's missing -- anxious, even though you're pretty sure they'll turn up eventually. They have to. But nothing is going to be right until you find them, so your only choices are to pretend they're not lost and keep ignoring your growing anxiety until they show up on their own, or tear the house apart until you find them.

Just something that's been on my mind lately:

Something that bothers me is when people think that God doesn't give them enough. God provides everything for us that we need because he loves us. Matthew 6:19-24 says that our treasure is in Heaven, and that's what we have to look forward to. Do not live for things only on this earth, because eventually you will die, and none of this stuff will matter anymore. I'm not saying don't enjoy it, but rather to not live for these things that will eventually decay. Matthew 6:25-27 says, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" God provides for the birds and grass, who are much less valuable than us. God loves us so much that he will provide everything, if we trust him. He did not give birds or grass or other animals the ability to sacrifice, but he did give humans that ability for a reason. He wants to give you everything, if only you trust him with everything. Seek first God's kingdom and righteousness and you will be provided for. Matthew 10:39 says that "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my (God's) sake will find it." This means that whoever lives for themselves and stores up on the treasures of the earth will eventually lose their life, but whoever lives for God will find their life, meaning they will be provided for. If we could only give up all of our worries to God, who knows every little thing about you, and has a prosperous plan for you, than you will live a life with no worries, knowing that God will provide everything you need and bless you with more. Matthew 7:7 says that if we ask and seek God, he will open his doors to you. God is more than enough for every single one of us, so why don't we just give God all of our worries? The answer to that question is because of our attitude. We think God doesn't provide enough. We always want more. I admit, I'm guilty of this too. Because of our attitude, we miss out on the greatest gift of life. If we could only see and truly believe that God can take away all of your worries and give them to him, including what college you will go to, who you're going to marry, and every single little worry, than you will find you are a much happier person. It's time to change your attitude, and believe that God is more than enough for you and wants to give you everything. Don't say you'll do it later in life because you're too uncomfortable doing it now, because you do not know when your life will end, and only God does. Trust him, sacrifice yourself, change your attitude.

From Where You Are - Lifehouse

So far away from where you are
The miles have torn us way apart
And I miss you
Yeah I miss you

So far away from where you are
And standing underneath the stars
And I wish you
Were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they’d mean everything to me
Yeah I miss
And I wish you
Were here

Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

...and she wonders where her dreams go
when the world gets in her way.
what's the point in never trying?
nothings changing anyway.

as I wait..

I'm here to meet with you
Come and meet with me
I'm here to find you,
reveal yourself to me

As I wait, you make me strong
As I long, draw me to your arms
As I stand and sing your praise
You come, you come and you fill this place
Won't you come, Won't you come and fill this place

Sing a Song

Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.

Today I fit 7 people in my car to go to the dollar store. We spent about
thirty dollars on thirty things. That's all.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

Our memories makes us who we are.
You can't change the past.
You can erase someone from your mind.
Getting them out of your heart is another story.